The superpower that things will sort themselves out

Amongst my secret weapons are intuition, square lashings, preparing for the unexpected

… and that things will sort themselves out.

For instance:

  • I had planned to step into the parents group (aka PTA, aka forældrerådet) in one of my boys classes. But the day of the election meeting, I was pretty stressed and missed the meeting. Now a couple of months later, there’s a free spot, and I could step in and be very welcome.
  • At work I saw my boss had assigned me a new project for next month. I missed to talk to him about it, but when came around to it – the project allocation had been cancelled.

So recently I have come to value: letting things sort themselves out OVER looking into everything. THAT IS while there is value on preparing everything, I value the first opportunity more.  You might think of it of being sloppy, unprepared and not even tester like.. your loss… What is your secret weapon then?

dad blackbelt

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Read for your kids – special interest edition

If you are a parent to (early) school children you should know that it is important to read  to your kids. Reading the words out trains vocabulary, recognition, imagination, wondering etc etc. So I read subtitles from movies… because

The boys currently have Star Wars as their special interest [1], and wanted to see the “people” movies. The have played the scenes via the LEGO Video Games (GC) and have a range of the LEGO sets – so they had the basic plot already. Feature movies like Star Wars are usually subtitled in Denmark – while animation movies are dubbed [2]. So in order both to keep up with “PG” [3] and helping them read the titles – I get to watch the movies and read the subtitles…

Poor daddy, it’s almost as hard as when he has to finish the ice cream they can’t 😉

In the last months the (soon to be) 9yo have cracked the reading code and have gone from LIX11 books to the shorter subtitles. The 11yo have rest covered, but some of the longer texts are tricky (I’m looking at you – opening Scroll).

2015-04-04 16.51.08

I tried reading Harry Potter (in Danish) but even if the story was very elaborate and detailed it didn’t catch their interest. Neither did classics from when I was a kid (Sorry Bjarne Reuter), so I had to rethink the acceptance criteria for “read for your kids“.

See these two boys are not as easily motivated – it has to tie into something they can see a direct interest in. Their autism makes them very picky on the choice of subject. What I try is to meet them where they are, expand their competencies and give them a lot of positive feedback until they master it on their own.

Links: The yardstick of mythical normalityAcceptance is more than what can be measured

  1. special interest, as in overly dedicated into the topic and cannot talk about anything else.
  2. The Danish “dubbers” are usually world class, luckily.
  3. Episode 3 is still to come, though.

Left to my own devices I probably would

You can easily do a half-marathon

Yes I could, but the thing is it would need longer runs. I run with the Running Club Tuesdays and Thursdays before dinner. As a simplified example – if dinner get’s delayed the kids won’t eat as well, then they can’t fall asleep – and will need to eat past their bed time. They will sleep too late, and we (the parents) will have less time to the evening chores and being together. Every time there is something I’d like to do, there is always something else that matters that doesn’t get done.

Come to X-conference – it’s just a matter of priority if you’re one of the ones

Sure, it is – that’s easy for you to say.  But €2000 + travel is out of my private pocket, missing work hours is out of my pocket, being away from family is out of both my time and their time. And really €4000 is a lot of money in a family with two kids with special needs – where the income is one job, one early retired. Also it’s a stupid argument, as I can point to heroes of testing that I consider “one of the ones” that like me aren’t going to both this and that.

I can do a Test Bash, write blog posts* and articles for the Testing Planet etc. 

I can run 14km in 1½ hours. 

14km

(*: and I’ll try to get back to blogging more)

Quote Left to my own devices

and I could
and left to my own devices
I probably would
Left to my own devices
I probably would
Oh, I would

Related:

 

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Motivated by LEGO, Pasta with ketchup, DR Ramasjang Rally – as other boys

Pelle og Simon 2013

Yet with autism (both, as in official  ICD-10 and DSM-IV). They could have been placed on a side track. They could be educated and trained to know that structure and predictability is the known world. But they are too curious, communicative and smart…. #methinks 🙂

We (ABA) train them to be able to deal with change, unpredictability and the benefits of both direct and intrinsic motivationBecause they benefit from it and it helps them being accepted and included.

Related: DK om at udsætte sine behov,  Weekend formulaThat’s what friends are forThe 860 kcal bug, will work for LEGOThe yardstick of mythical normality acceptance is more than can be measured 

People are people – despite their labels

I generally despise the “despite” in the following sentences

I’d rather we use a child with autism, a child with ADHD, a person with asperger… A mother, a woman, a Dane, a black person – a person. Children with a diagnosis is so much more than the diagnosis – they are children. People are so much more that their labels, they are people first – labels second.

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See also:
https://jlottosen.wordpress.com/2012/04/03/they-are-just-people/
https://jlottosen.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/har-du-set-en-med/
https://jlottosen.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/the-geeks-and-nerds-syndrome/

Har du set en med …

Har du mødt et barn – har du mødt ét barn. Det gælder uanset om det barn har bogstaver i bagagen eller ej – alle børn er forskellige med styrker og svagheder. .. Det samme er der med voksne, rødhuder og andet godtfolk.

Med-mennesker med handicap og sværre sygdomme – har det sværrere end du lige ved det…

Hvad førtidspension har gjort for mig, 27 år, kronisk syg |  Syrene Theresia den 29. februar 2012 ]

Når du ser en person, du kender, som er førtidspensionist/kronisk syg/handicappet/psykisk syg, ser du et meget lille udsnit af den persons virkelighed. Måske 5 %. Resten har vedkommende formentlig ikke lyst til at vise dig. Fordi:

 1. Det er pinligt at være syg. De fleste skammer sig over at være på førtidspension og over deres lidelser/handicap.

2. Man vil gerne være privat omkring sine vanskeligheder, udfordringer og handicaps.

3. Mange forsøger at vise et pænt billede/en mere rask facade udad til, da de føler, de vil skræmme folk væk ved at vise sandheden.

4. De fleste er bange for, at ved at fokusere for meget på deres sygdomsidentitet, vil de blive mere syge og forsøger derfor ofte at lade som om, sygdommen ikke er der.

Se også: Lidt autist har man nemlig lov at være